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Friday, July 02, 2010

How To Survive a Night in Jail

    Happy Fourth of July weekend everyone!  Fourth of July represents a high point for dui arrests- lots of special funding for check points, etc.  That means, statistically speaking, you have a better chance of ending up in jail this weekend then any other.  Now, I counsel a lot of people AFTER they've been to jail, and I always think to myself, "Gosh- I wish could talk to people about this experience BEFORE they went to jail."  Here are my tips:

  1.        Be aware of how your behavior while you are in jail effects your loved ones.  Hey, everyone knows that being in jail sucks, but being in jail overnight is not the end of your world, and you should not be baby when you are calling your wife, husband, girl friend, boyfriend, etc.  Take a deep breath and grow a pair because....
  2.       95% of the time you are only going to be in jail one night.  The Cops can hold you for up to three days, but in most standard dui scenarios, it's just the one night, then you get out.  Trust me, I see people getting released out of jail almost every day- usually in the mid morning.
  3.        Be aware of your specific type of jail environment.  There are two main types of jail- the first is the big city central lock up- lots of drunk people, some hobos and a few guys/gals who are regulars.  The other type is the small town lock up.  You need to figure out which of these you are in, because if you are in a big city lock up, the guards will be your friends and the inmates potential problems, whereas if you are in the sticks, you need to watch out for the guards.  Small town jail personnel can be big time assholes.
  4.        Enjoy your time!  For most people, that one night will be the only time they see the inside of a jail cell- don't spend your time being a cry baby bitch- you want an anecdote that will stand up over time.
  5.        Do not talk shit.  To anyone, about anything.  Winning an argument inside jail is worthless and potentially life threatening. 
      Have a happy and save July 4th weekend- if you are going to be out indulging take a spin on the internet for dui checkpoints in your area before you go out- they are often made public right before the weekend starts.

1 comment:

David said...

This may seem like an obvious one, but I must ask - refuse the breathalyser?

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